REALLIFE STUDY GROUP

"The Orphan Spirit VersusThe Spirit of Sonship!"

 

ICEBREAKER: What is your favorite foreign food? Be specific!

 

INTRODUCTION:  We live in such a fatherless world today. You can trace many of the issues in society back to the lack of fathering and fatherly affirmation.  The sad truth of the matter is that even though we know as Christians that God is our Heavenly Father, we often live and function in life as if we were orphans. The orphan mentality is a driving force that impacts the way we feel about ourselves and others. If we let it, it can affect our attitudes, our behaviors, our responses, our emotions, and even our dreams. An orphan often feels that he/she is all alone in the world. He feels that he has to fight for himself because no one has his back; that it is him against the world because no one else cares, and that life is completely unfair so he can only expect the worst. In today's lesson we are going to look at some of the differences between the orphan spirit and the spirit of Sonship.

 

CONFESSION:

·        I know who I am! I am a child of a loving Heavenly Father!

·        I know what I want! I want only what my Heavenly Father wants me to have because He knows what I need even before I ask.

·        I know who I belong to! I belong to God! I have a deep sense of belonging! I am my Beloved's and He is mine, His banner over me is love!

·        I know where I am going! God's Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path!

·        I know why I am here! I am here on purpose, with a purpose and for a purpose and will fulfill my God-given purpose!

·        I know who knows everything. I am on a need-to-know basis: God will tell me what I need to know whenever I need to know if I choose to listen carefully.

 

DEFINITION:

Son: One who carries the family name.

Orphan: One without parenting often characterized as follows:

·        Unable to put down roots in a church or change churches frequently

·        Always on the lookout for something bigger and better

·        Feeling based faith (if it feels good, feels right, etc. then I will follow it)

·        Needs recognition

·        Easily offended

·        Feelings of abandonment even when one has not been abandoned

·        Attitude of “No one is going to tell me what to do”

·        Attitude of “I know…” (unteachable)

·        Survivalist Mentality always looking out for oneself

·        Never truly comfortable in the presence of anointed spiritual father

·        Reject others before they can be rejected

 

STATISTICS:

·        63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.

·        90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.

·        85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Center for Disease Control)

·        80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.  (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)

·        71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (National Principals Association Report)

·        Father Factor in Education - Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

·        Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.

·        Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.

·        Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.

·        Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.

·        75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.

·        Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse - Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.

 

OUTLINE:  Eleven Contrasting Traits between an Orphan Spirit and a Spirit of Sonship

1.  The orphan spirit operates out of insecurity and jealousy. The spirit of sonship functions out of love and acceptance.

Lucifer

Those with an orphan spirit are constantly battling jealousy and insecurity since security originates in a secure relationship with our parents. Those with an orphan spirit are so insecure they even have a hard time hearing a biological or spiritual father praise their siblings or co-laborers. Those with the spirit of sonship are so secure in the Father’s love and favor that they are content to serve in any capacity needed, whether or not they are in charge or are celebrated in the process.

2.  The orphan spirit is jealous of the success of his brothers. The mature son is committed to the success of his brothers.

Cain & Able, Joseph & Brothers, Abraham & Lot

Along these lines, those with an orphan spirit are happy when their brother fails because it makes them feel good about themselves. On the other hand, those with the spirit of sonship joyfully commit themselves to serve, celebrate and help their brothers succeed since they don’t work for human accolades but out of a deep sense of the love and affirmation of Father God.

3.  The orphan spirit serves God to earn the Father’s love. The mature son serves God out of a sense of divine acceptance and favor.

Prodigal son & the elder brother

Along these lines, those with an orphan spirit are constantly striving and trying to earn the Father’s love through accomplishment in ministry or career. Those with a spirit of sonship already know they are accepted in Christ and serve others out of the abundance of this acceptance.

4.  The orphan spirit tries to medicate his deep internal alienation through physical stimulation. The mature son walks in the joy and presence of the Lord for comfort.

Sampson

Those with an orphan spirit are constantly trying to push down their sense of alienation, loneliness and lack of self-worth through constantly working, going from one relationship to the next, physical gratification and living a life of narcissism and self-indulgence. However, the more they indulge, the more addicted they become, the larger the hole in their heart becomes because only the love of the Father can fill the deep emotional needs they have.

Those walking in sonship bask in the presence and love of God and practice the joy of the Lord continually as their source of strength because they understand that grounding their security and self-life in anything other than God is like trying to build a house on sinking sand.

5.  The orphan spirit is driven by the need for success. The Spirit leads the mature son into his calling and mission.

Solomon

Many attempt to accomplish great things to satisfy the deep yearning in their hearts for their father’s approval. This results in them being driven to succeed instead of being led by the Spirit. Even many leaders get their churches into huge debt to build huge buildings, driving the people around them because they are blinded by their own innate feelings of inadequacy; they think they can feel good about themselves with great accomplishments.

Only those with a strong sense of sonship will allow the Lord to direct them and bring opportunity to them without trying to drum up their own success.

6.  The orphan spirit uses people as objects to fulfill their goals. Mature sons serve people to bless the kingdom.

Absalom

Those with an orphan spirit tend to use people as objects to accomplish their goals. Whenever we objectify people we manipulate them with words, threats, and anything necessary to have our way and control them.  Mature people who walk in sonship don’t use people; they serve and release people to fulfill their destiny in Christ.

7.  The orphan spirit repels their children. The spirit of sonship attracts their children.

King Saul

Leaders and parents with an orphan spirit are constantly in turmoil, fighting, and striving for their own way which gives their spiritual children the sense that their leader is in competition with them instead of loving them. This results in repelling their spiritual and biological children which can forfeit their influence over the next generation! Those who walk in sonship walk in the Father’s anointing and draw their children towards them because their children hear the voice of a shepherd who cares for them.

8.  The orphan spirit has issues with anger and fits of rage. The spirit of sonship rests in the Father’s ability to control and guide their future.

Saul

Those with an orphan spirit have issues with uncontrollable anger, fits of rage and other forms of manipulation because they feel they must control others and their circumstances in order to fulfill their goals, since they lack the trust necessary in their heavenly Father to guide and control their future.

Those walking in sonship walk in the Father’s rest and have ceased from their own works so the Father can have His way in their lives.

9.  The orphan spirit is always in competition with others. The spirit of sonship is always blessing others.

Jacob & Esau

Those with an orphan spirit are always trying to outdo others in their church, family, business or denomination because they receive their identity through being better than everyone else. Those who walk in sonship are constantly seeing how they can bless others since they already have the affirmation of God in their souls, so they want to freely share His love with others.

10. The orphan spirit has a lack of self-esteem. The spirit of sonship

walks in the love and acceptance of Father God.

Those with an orphan spirit have a hard time loving and accepting themselves. Those walking in sonship are filled with a sense of divine love and acceptance that enables them to walk confidently in the joy of the Lord in spite of the fact that all humans are sinners and fall short of the glory of God.

11. The orphan spirit receives their primary identity through

material possessions, their physical appearance, and activities. The spirit of sonship has their identity grounded in their sonship and their Father’s affirmation.

Job

Those with an orphan spirit can never have enough career success, material possessions, pleasure, or illicit relationships to satisfy the hole in their heart related to their identity. Consequently, they are constantly striving to gain satisfaction through the use of various things or people in their lives. In many cases even their form of dress, including an inordinate amount of tattoos, skin piercings, and hairdos, can be their way of trying to stand out as unique and a cry for attention due to a lack of self-esteem and fatherly affirmation.

Those who walk in sonship are so grounded in their divine Father’s affirmation they can be satisfied serving in the background and celebrate the success and attention that others receive because the void in their soul has already been filled with the unconditional love of the Father.

 

TEXT: John 14

 

STUDY GROUP QUESTIONS: 

1.  How many times is the word "father" used in John 14?

2.  Name one quality of a good father?

3.  Why do you think God chose to reveal himself to us as our father and not just as creator?

4.  Of the 11 traits listed in the outline which one stands out to you?

5.  In what way have you, or do you live like an orphan presently or in times past?

6.  What was your relationship like with your father and how has that shaped your life?

 

PRAISE REPORTS & PRAYER REQUESTS:

                                                                                                       

                                                                                                       

                                                                                                       

                                                                                                       

                                                                                                       

 

ACTION POINT: This week I will look for ways or attitudes in my live where I have been believing or behaving like an orphan.