REALLIFE STUDY GROUP
"The Orphan Spirit VersusThe
Spirit of Sonship!"
ICEBREAKER:
What is your favorite foreign food? Be specific!
INTRODUCTION: We live in such a fatherless world today. You
can trace many of the issues in society back to the lack of fathering and
fatherly affirmation. The sad truth of
the matter is that even though we know as Christians that God is our Heavenly
Father, we often live and function in life as if we were orphans. The orphan
mentality is a driving force that impacts the way we feel about ourselves and
others. If we let it, it can affect our attitudes, our behaviors, our
responses, our emotions, and even our dreams. An orphan often feels that he/she
is all alone in the world. He feels that he has to fight for himself because no
one has his back; that it is him against the world because no one else cares,
and that life is completely unfair so he can only expect the worst. In today's
lesson we are going to look at some of the differences between the orphan
spirit and the spirit of Sonship.
CONFESSION:
·
I know who I am! I am a child
of a loving Heavenly Father!
·
I know what I want! I want only
what my Heavenly Father wants me to have because He knows what I need even
before I ask.
·
I know who I belong to! I
belong to God! I have a deep sense of belonging! I am my Beloved's and He is mine,
His banner over me is love!
·
I know where I am going! God's
Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path!
·
I know why I am here! I am here
on purpose, with a purpose and for a purpose and will fulfill my God-given
purpose!
·
I know who knows everything. I
am on a need-to-know basis: God will tell me what I need to know whenever I
need to know if I choose to listen carefully.
DEFINITION:
Son:
One who carries the family name.
Orphan:
One without parenting often characterized as follows:
·
Unable to put down roots in a
church or change churches frequently
·
Always on the lookout for
something bigger and better
·
Feeling based faith (if it
feels good, feels right, etc. then I will follow it)
·
Needs recognition
·
Easily offended
·
Feelings of abandonment even
when one has not been abandoned
·
Attitude of “No one is going to
tell me what to do”
·
Attitude of “I know…” (unteachable)
·
Survivalist Mentality always
looking out for oneself
·
Never truly comfortable in the
presence of anointed spiritual father
·
Reject others before they can
be rejected
STATISTICS:
·
63% of youth suicides are from
fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.
·
90% of all homeless and runaway
children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
·
85% of all children who show
behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
·
80% of rapists with anger
problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol
14, p. 403-26)
·
71% of all high school dropouts
come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)
·
Father Factor in Education -
Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of
school.
·
Children with Fathers who are
involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.
·
Children with Fathers who are
involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
·
Children with Fathers who are
involved are more likely to get A’s in school.
·
Children with Fathers who are
involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular
activities.
·
75% of all adolescent patients
in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.
·
Father Factor in Drug and
Alcohol Abuse - Researchers at Columbia University found that children living
in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more
likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent
households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than
those in two-parent households.
OUTLINE: Eleven
Contrasting Traits between an Orphan Spirit and a Spirit of Sonship
1. The orphan spirit operates out
of insecurity and jealousy. The spirit of sonship
functions out of love and acceptance.
Lucifer
Those with
an orphan spirit are constantly battling jealousy and insecurity since security
originates in a secure relationship with our parents. Those with an orphan
spirit are so insecure they even have a hard time hearing a biological or
spiritual father praise their siblings or co-laborers. Those with the spirit of
sonship are so secure in the Father’s love and favor
that they are content to serve in any capacity needed, whether or not they are
in charge or are celebrated in the process.
2. The orphan spirit is jealous of
the success of his brothers. The mature son is committed to the success of his
brothers.
Cain &
Able, Joseph & Brothers, Abraham & Lot
Along these
lines, those with an orphan spirit are happy when their brother fails because
it makes them feel good about themselves. On the other hand, those with the
spirit of sonship joyfully commit themselves to
serve, celebrate and help their brothers succeed since they don’t work for
human accolades but out of a deep sense of the love and affirmation of Father
God.
3. The orphan spirit serves God to
earn the Father’s love. The mature son serves God out of a sense of divine
acceptance and favor.
Prodigal son
& the elder brother
Along these
lines, those with an orphan spirit are constantly striving and trying to earn
the Father’s love through accomplishment in ministry or career. Those with a
spirit of sonship already know they are accepted in
Christ and serve others out of the abundance of this acceptance.
4. The orphan spirit tries to
medicate his deep internal alienation through physical stimulation. The mature
son walks in the joy and presence of the Lord for comfort.
Sampson
Those with
an orphan spirit are constantly trying to push down their sense of alienation,
loneliness and lack of self-worth through constantly working, going from one
relationship to the next, physical gratification and living a life of
narcissism and self-indulgence. However, the more they indulge, the more
addicted they become, the larger the hole in their heart becomes because only
the love of the Father can fill the deep emotional needs they have.
Those
walking in sonship bask in the presence and love of
God and practice the joy of the Lord continually as their source of strength
because they understand that grounding their security and self-life in anything
other than God is like trying to build a house on sinking sand.
5. The orphan spirit is driven by
the need for success. The Spirit leads the mature son into his calling and
mission.
Solomon
Many attempt
to accomplish great things to satisfy the deep yearning in their hearts for
their father’s approval. This results in them being
driven to succeed instead of being led by the Spirit. Even many leaders get
their churches into huge debt to build huge buildings, driving the people
around them because they are blinded by their own innate feelings of
inadequacy; they think they can feel good about themselves with great
accomplishments.
Only those
with a strong sense of sonship will allow the Lord to
direct them and bring opportunity to them without trying to drum up their own
success.
6. The orphan spirit uses people
as objects to fulfill their goals. Mature sons serve people to bless the
kingdom.
Absalom
Those with
an orphan spirit tend to use people as objects to accomplish their goals.
Whenever we objectify people we manipulate them with words, threats, and
anything necessary to have our way and control them. Mature people who walk in sonship
don’t use people; they serve and release people to fulfill their destiny in
Christ.
7. The orphan spirit repels their
children. The spirit of sonship attracts their
children.
King Saul
Leaders and
parents with an orphan spirit are constantly in turmoil, fighting, and striving
for their own way which gives their spiritual children the sense that their
leader is in competition with them instead of loving them. This results in
repelling their spiritual and biological children which can forfeit their
influence over the next generation! Those who walk in sonship
walk in the Father’s anointing and draw their children towards them because
their children hear the voice of a shepherd who cares for them.
8. The orphan spirit has issues
with anger and fits of rage. The spirit of sonship
rests in the Father’s ability to control and guide their future.
Saul
Those with
an orphan spirit have issues with uncontrollable anger, fits of rage and other
forms of manipulation because they feel they must control others and their
circumstances in order to fulfill their goals, since they lack the trust
necessary in their heavenly Father to guide and control their future.
Those
walking in sonship walk in the Father’s rest and have
ceased from their own works so the Father can have His way in their lives.
9. The orphan spirit is always in
competition with others. The spirit of sonship is
always blessing others.
Jacob &
Esau
Those with
an orphan spirit are always trying to outdo others in their church, family,
business or denomination because they receive their identity through being
better than everyone else. Those who walk in sonship
are constantly seeing how they can bless others since they already have the
affirmation of God in their souls, so they want to freely share His love with
others.
10.
The orphan spirit has a lack of self-esteem. The spirit of sonship
walks in the love and acceptance of
Father God.
Those with
an orphan spirit have a hard time loving and accepting themselves. Those
walking in sonship are filled with a sense of divine
love and acceptance that enables them to walk confidently in the joy of the
Lord in spite of the fact that all humans are sinners and fall short of the
glory of God.
11.
The orphan spirit receives their primary identity through
material possessions, their physical appearance, and
activities. The spirit of sonship has their identity
grounded in their sonship and their Father’s
affirmation.
Job
Those with
an orphan spirit can never have enough career success, material possessions,
pleasure, or illicit relationships to satisfy the hole in their heart related
to their identity. Consequently, they are constantly striving to gain
satisfaction through the use of various things or people in their lives. In
many cases even their form of dress, including an inordinate amount of tattoos,
skin piercings, and hairdos, can be their way of trying to stand out as unique
and a cry for attention due to a lack of self-esteem and fatherly affirmation.
Those who
walk in sonship are so grounded in their divine
Father’s affirmation they can be satisfied serving in the background and
celebrate the success and attention that others receive because the void in
their soul has already been filled with the unconditional love of the Father.
TEXT:
John 14
STUDY
GROUP QUESTIONS:
1. How
many times is the word "father"
used in John 14?
2. Name
one quality of a good father?
3. Why
do you think God chose to reveal himself to us as our father and not just as
creator?
4. Of
the 11 traits listed in the outline which one stands out to you?
5. In
what way have you, or do you live like an orphan presently or in times past?
6. What
was your relationship like with your father and how has that shaped your life?
PRAISE
REPORTS & PRAYER REQUESTS:
ACTION
POINT: This week I will look for ways or
attitudes in my live where I have been believing or
behaving like an orphan.