REALLIFE
STUDY GROUP
"Talk Up!"
ICEBREAKER:
Name one of your favorite subjects to talk about and tell us why.
INTRODUCTION:
We have all felt the pain of having someone belittle, berate or talk
down to us. When we talk up to people and not down to them we elevate them. The
book of Proverbs is full of wisdom that will teach us to take the high road
when we effectively communicate with each other. Successful communication
requires forethought, diplomacy and discretion.
A
young man in the Bible by the name of Joseph had a gift to receive and
interpret dreams but had not developed the skill of knowing who, when and how
to share it with others. And when he told his brothers his dreams, he so
infuriated them that they almost killed him because they thought he was talking
down to them. Then they started talking
down to Joseph. They almost destroyed God's plan to rescue them in the future.
Be careful who you talk down to, they may be your answer to a problem someday.
CONFESSION:
TALK UP TO ME NOT DOWN TO ME
·
Talk
up to me not down to me...I was created in the image of God and am seated in
heavenly places
·
Talk
up to me not down to me...I might surprise you
·
Talk
up to me not down to me... I might be an answer to a problem in your life
·
Talk
up to me not down to me...I don't want to close my spirit to you
·
Talk
up to me not down to me...you might need me one day
·
Talk
up to me not down to me...I may be young but sometimes God speaks through even
me
·
Talk
up to me not down to me...I may be one of your biggest fans and you don't know
it yet
DEFINITION:
Talk Up means to acknowledge me, to speak to me as if you value me and
what I have to say! To promote one another! Talking up also can refer to not
being drawn into gutter talk or language and arguments that are beneath us.
OUTLINE: 7 POWERFUL RELATIONAL TRUTHS
1.
The Power of Agreement (Even Jesus prayed for our unity)
Amos 3:3 (KJV)
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
2.
The Power of Wise Words (Diplomacy is always better than Division)
wisdom than war
Proverbs 20:3
It is to a
man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel
3.
The Power of Being a Servant (Become a Sacrifice)
Matthew 20:25-26
Jesus called them together and said, "You know that
the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise
authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great
among you must be your servant,
4.
The Power of Forgiveness (Forgiveness is a seed you can't
afford not to plant)
Luke
23:43
“…Therefore
I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he
who is forgiven little, loves little.”
Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive others their
trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you
5.
The Power of Commitment (Never Quit)
Galatians 6:9
English Standard Version (ESV)
And let us not grow weary of doing
good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
6.
The Power of Affirmation (affirmation and gratitude reap
rewards)
Philippians 4:6
English Standard Version (ESV)
Do not be anxious about anything, but
in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be
made known to God.
7.
The Power of Love (Most arguments are fear based.)
1 John 4:18 (KJV)
There is no fear in love; but perfect
love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made
perfect in love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; love does
not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own
way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but
rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all
things, endures all things.
Avoiding the Hidden Traps of
Miscommunication
·
Don't
you know, I'm not in a position to judge that
·
Don't
you understand, I don't have the authority to change that
·
Don't
tell me something you don't want me to address, I'm not your
garbage
dump
·
Don't
bring up someone else's name if you don't want me to talk to that
person
·
Don't ask me to keep a
confidence you are not keeping unless it’s a life or death issue or it's
your stuff
·
Don't
get mad at me for expressing my opinion if you ask me for it
·
Don't
assume I know what you need or want from me
·
Don't
ask me to give you what doesn't belong to me or you
·
Don't
misquote me or quote me out of context
·
Don't
refrain from telling me the truth because you don't want to hurt my feelings or
make me mad
·
Don't tell me to promise not to
respond if you tell me something upsetting or inflammatory
·
Don't
make me a promise you know you don't ever intend to keep
For
example, I would rather not loan you money if you're not going to pay me back
and I would rather not lose a friend.
Just let me give you what I can afford to give you and trust me if I say
I'm sorry but I can't!
TEXT:
Don’t have anything to do with foolish
and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s
servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach,
not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that
God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and
that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who
has taken them captive to do his will (2
Timothy 2:23-26).
A man of knowledge uses words with
restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered (Proverbs 17:27).
In your anger do not sin. Do not let
the sun go down while you are still angry. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and
anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice… Therefore, rid
yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every
kind (1 Peter 2:11).
If you have been trapped by what you
said, ensnared by the words of your mouth, then do this, my son, to free
yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor’s [spouse's] hands: Go
humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbor [spouse]! Allow no sleep to
your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids. (Proverbs
6:2-5).
The evil man is trapped by his sinful
talk, but a righteous man escapes trouble. From the fruit of his lips a man is
filled with good things as surely as the work of his hands rewards him (Proverbs 12:13-14).
Avoid godless chatter, because those
who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly (2 Timothy 2:16).
Words from a wise man’s mouth are
gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips. At the beginning his words
are folly; at the end they are wicked madness—and the fool multiplies words. (Ecclesiastes 10:12-13).
STUDY GROUP QUESTIONS:
1.
How
do you handle miscommunications?
2.
Which
of the 7 powerful relational truths do you need to work on?
3.
How
do you keep from getting drawn into other people's drama?
4.
What
does it feel like when people talk down to you?
5.
Besides
the obvious why shouldn't we talk down to people?
6.
Why
do you think our culture has become so belittling and berating to one another?
PRAISE REPORTS & PRAYER REQUESTS:
ACTION POINT:
This week I will read the following proverbs and write down the
principles that I learn about the tongue:
a.
Prov.
10:19-21
b. Prov. 11:13
c.
Prov.
12:18
d. Prov. 12:25
e.
Prov.
16:24
f.
Prov.
17:9
g.
Prov.
25:11-12
h.
Prov.
27:6
i.
Prov.
27:15-16