REALLIFE STUDY GROUP
TOPIC: What are you wearing?
ICEBREAKER: Make
a fashion statement!
Description: What kind of clothes make you feel most
confident and what kind make you feel most comfortable? (Business suit, sweat
suit, flannel PJs, swim suit)
DEFINITIONS: What
is conflict? - A disagreement over opposing issues or principles
TEXT:
QUESTIONS:
Sermon Notes:
Conflict Characteristics (2
Types)
ATTACKERS
1.
The Shark….Dictator
Inner Need: Ego Confirmation
Symptoms:
Controlling, Judgmental, Uses Power Plays, Closed Minded
Remedies: Let
them have their say without interrupting, Hold your ground, Give them praise,
Message:
“Give in to me or I’ll attack”
Goal: To win and always maintain control
2.
The Snake….Backbiter
Inner Need: To feel
Symptoms:
Bites when you’re not looking, Starts false rumors, Pretends to be
innocent, gathers allies
Remedies: Be
aware of their schemes, Confront them with someone in
private, Expect denial, Be firm, Catch them in a lie
Message:
“Don’t tangle with me or you’ll regret it”
Goal: Look
good to others by tearing you down
3.
The Woodpecker….Faultfinders
Inner Need: A Listening Ear
Symptoms:
Repetitive complaints, Makes negative statements about everything,
Blames others, Pulls others into disagreements, Delights in misery
Remedies:
Learn to cut off negative conversation, Respond only to what is
important, Confront their game playing, Encourage a
look at solutions, Don’t reinforce negativity
Message:
“Don’t get on my bad side”
Goal: To
gain sympathy and attention
AVOIDERS
1.
The Turtle….Retreater
Inner Need: Peace
at all costs
Symptoms:
Plays dumb, gives one word answers, withdraws, is secretive, makes you feel guilty for asking questions
Remedies: Asks
questions that can’t be answered with yes or no. Seek to get them to talk on a feeling
level. Hang in there until you get a
response. Be positive, not critical with
them. Don’t answer for them
Message:
“Don’t confront me because it won’t do any good”
Goal: To
maintain power through silence
2.
The Chameleon….Obligator
Inner Need:
Confirmation & Approval
Symptoms:
Indecisive, Acts innocent, Super nice and
agreeable, Noncommittal, Downplays differences
Remedies: Make
it “okay” to disagree, Help them identify priorities, Learn their hidden fears,
Reinforce the decisions, Don’t Accept their yes as complete agreement
Message: “I’m
nice to you; you owe it to me to be nice back”
Goal: To
avoid disfavor or criticism
3.
The Weasel….Twister
Inner Need:
Courage & Confidence
Symptoms: Clearly
defensive, Sidesteps the issue, Twists and bends the truth, Blame others,
Avoids “I” statements
Remedies:
Avoid accusations, Don’t get drawn into
arguments, Be strong and immovable, Be forgiving, Be consistently encouraging
Message: “I’m
not going to get pinned down”
Goal: To
avoid responsibility and account-ability